Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
