this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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