Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize