ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
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