Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I'm too high and old for this...
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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