I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I touched a dick in church today
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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