I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
