from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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