That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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