stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
