i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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