Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
