you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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