he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
