how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Randomize
