my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
