What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
