Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
her facebook's as public as her vagina
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
