NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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