yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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