thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
