Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Randomize
