This girl is more easily done than said...
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
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