i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
