I think I died a long time ago.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
my being single is dangerous.
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I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
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There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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