Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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