and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
