i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
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He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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