is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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