she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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