I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
