My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
