using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
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