I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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