sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize