People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I think my vagina is haunted
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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