Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
You took a bar mat shot.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
