how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
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