I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
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when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
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Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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