How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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