I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
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We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
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Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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