watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
