Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
