The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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