i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
