And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
