so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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