I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
