I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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