does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
There r osticjed everywhere
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize