So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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