I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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