I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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