I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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