my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize