Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize