OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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