last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
