You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
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