I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
that is very illegal...i love you.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
