There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
