i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
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Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
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I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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