I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
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