It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
i want to swaddle you in tequila
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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